Friday, June 19, 2015

"Follow Your Arrow down the Lost Highway"

I was just a lad, nearly 22
Neither good nor bad, just a kid like you
And now I'm lost, too late to pray
Lord I take a cost, oh the lost highway

I'm a rollin' stone all alone and lost
For a life of sin I have paid the cost
When I pass by all the people say
Just another guy on the lost highway

Just a deck of cards and a jug of wine
And a woman's lies makes a life like mine
Oh the day we met, I went astray
I started rolling down that lost highway

If you don't go to church
You'll go to hell
If you're the first one
On the front row
You're self-righteous
Son of a-
Can't win for losing
You'll just disappoint 'em
Just 'cause you can't beat 'em
Don't mean you should join 'em

You're damned if you do
And you're damned if you don't
So you might as well just do
Whatever you want
So
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points

Say what you think
Love who you love
'Cause you just get
So many trips 'round the sun
Yeah, you only
Only live once

I'm a geek.  I love the social sciences - every single one of them!  Yet, if you asked me three and a half years ago what I knew about Morocco, I would have told you Casablanca was one of my favorite movies.  Okay, I could have told you it was an Islamic nation in North Africa with major cities like Fes, Tangier and Marrakech, but not a whole lot more.  If you had asked me three and a half years ago if I would go there to live and work, I would have told you that you must have been smoking something a lot harder than 'shisha'.  Yet, here I am having finished my 3-year tenure at an American school in Casa, having had the adventure of a lifetime, and that doesn't include traveling to 20 other countries during my time in the Maghreb.

Back to those social sciences - history, politics, religion, psychology, and all the rest - I lived an advanced lesson.  It would take me a few more years to detail it all, if I could.  And that is just the surface.  I've been trying to sort a jumble of emotions ever since I knew earlier this spring I was going to be leaving here for good at the end of school year.  Considering my personality, my history and the circumstances by which I came here, I figured I'd come here, do a year or two, roll out, and not look back.  Wrong.  (Though, while getting lost in the everyday life, very frequently I'd forget where I was, only to ask myself: "Am I actually in Africa?  How did I get here?  What am I doing here.  WTF?!"  I don't rule out the possibility that one day I will wake up and realize it was only a dream that I spent 3 years of my life in Africa...)

As a 6'3 big-bodied, fair-complected Roman Catholic, I knew I'd stand out here.  However, not only was I immersed in Muslim culture; I didn't realize that I'd be surrounded by a majority of strident Christians at work.  As in the U.S., women, Jews and sub-Saharan Africans don't enjoy first-class status in Maroc, though the dynamics are different.  I've enjoyed the unsolicited friendliness and hospitality of countless Moroccans, yet at times have been cheated and mistreated because of what I am.
Not the biggest country in the world, nonetheless Morocco enjoys remarkable beauty at the Atlantic and Mediterranean coasts, the Rif and Atlas mountains, waterfalls and deserts, unique cities like Chefchaouen and Ifrane, and so much more.  While rightly regarded as a stable, moderate force in the region, I won't say I've not been a little edgy this year when I've seen troops patrolling areas where expats like me frequent, in response to intelligence suggesting I S I S wants to kidnap someone like myself.

Yesterday was my last day at GWA; tomorrow is my last day in Morocco before I hop aboard Qatar Airways for a flight home, home being New Jersey for a week, then Connecticut as I start a new job at a boarding school there.  As big a change as that will be, it's been difficult to get excited, because of all of the emotion I've been feeling about leaving here.  For about 1000 days I've been working and living with people from every corner of the United States who have lived and worked in every corner of the globe, and connecting with students who have backgrounds unlike any I've ever encountered.  I actually felt something, felt a lot of some things, as the clock wound down on my final day as a Mustang.
I believe I'm the same person I was when I arrived here at the age of 43; while I've learned some new tricks, I am certain I'm the same old dog.  You'll have a hard time convincing me that a zebra can change its stripes.  At the same time, I know this experience has changed me mightily, and for the better, by the way, even if I cannot exactly describe how.  Maybe I'll be able to later on.  I still have a lot of reflection to do...

When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points