"Take A Back Road"

Sit in that six lane backed up traffic
Horns are honking, I've about had it
I'm looking for an exit sign
Gotta get out of here, get it all off my mind
 
And it makes me wanna take a back road
Makes me wanna take the long way home
Throw a little gravel in my travel
Unwind, unravel all night long

Thanks to Rodney Atkins for supplying the title to the blog post this week!  Hijinks on the highway was the inspiration, but back to that in a moment.  Monday morning saw a return to the classroom after a week off revolving around the most important Islamic holiday on the calendar.  It's not yet 8 in the a.m. and several of my students wander in to reconnect after the break.  One is more than eager to share a photo from his family's celebration.  It looked very similar to this photo taken from the Internet:



Other students regaled me with tales of eating sheep's' brains, tongues, vital organs, eyeballs and testicles.  Some may or may not be true, and I am not the squeamish type, but it was a little too early for this, and my stomach was literally turning.  Thanks, fellas...

Monday night brought more comedy.  I live one block removed from a couple of heavily trafficked roads in a commercial area; on Monday I went to cross one of them during evening rush.  At an opportune moment I darted from behind a car toward the other side.  All of a sudden I'm cradling my left wrist in pain - what the heck happened?!  About 20 feet to my right, a middle-aged man is stopped on his scooter, with his face in his hands.  I start to connect the dots.  Yup, I punched the guy in the face as he was zipping by on my left passing right-lane traffic.  I was watching the cars and trucks, never noticing him quickly sneaking up on me, and he certainly didn't expect me to jump out and whack him.  He had a 2-inch cut under his right eye, and it for sure was going to swell.  We really couldn't communicate.  I just kept apologizing, and he was probably silently cursing his luck he was half my size and didn't have a gun at that instant.

I didn't assault anyone on Tuesday.

On Wednesday after school I made my way over to the section of the city called Oasis.  It's a nice enough area, though I'd say the name is a bit of an exaggeration.  There is a place there called La Maison D'Enfants Lalla Hasnaa - the Lalla Hasnaa Children's Home, an orphanage carrying the name of Her Royal Highness Princess Lalla Hasnaa, it's honorary leader.  It is funded by the government to provide for the care of and education for 250+ children, including some with disabilities, from ages birth to 6 years.

I learned of this place late last year and decided when I returned this fall I wanted to volunteer there.  Some ladies I work with made the introductions at a visit several weeks ago.  Apparently, I am something of an anomaly (gotta use my colleague's vocab words!).  It wouldn't be a stretch to say a male caring for these children is virtually unheard of.  Anyway, I took a form, managed to figure out what this application said and filled it out correctly. 

The other day I met with the director so she could sign off on my being with the children.  Her English was barely better than my French; I did take away from the meeting that I shouldn't be caring for newborns, but she was pleased that I was a special education teacher.  She even asked if I wanted to stay that afternoon.  I hadn't planned on that, but sure!  I enjoyed playing with a pair of older toddlers at first in an activity/treatment room.  Then a small group of younger toddlers came in.  The caregiver asked me in French what my name was, I replied, then I heard her speak to the kids, saying something I couldn't understand except for the words "Uncle Jack", at which point the group turned and most ran at me looking for hugs and kisses.  I scared the pooh out of a couple.  I went back at my prescribed time Saturday morning.  When the first two saw me they immediately remembered and had big smiles on their face.  Another was brought in, took one look at me, and ran away screaming.  Patience.  All in all it was a lot of fun and I look forward to going back.  I can't take photos of course, but here are a few links in case you're curious:

association-ihssane.org

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Maison-denfants-Lalla-Hasnaa/195961177163703

http://www.indh.gov.ma/fr/doc/presentation_Habiba_ALAOUI.pdf

On Saturday night I went to an 80's-themed Halloween at a colleagues beachfront pad in Dar Bouazza to the south of Casa.  The joint was awesome and everyone's costumes were hysterical.  Four people came as Ghostbusters.  Lots of high hair (and a great mullet!)  A punk chick and a Madonna look-alike.  Walk like an Egyptian!  I stepped straight out of The Preppy Handbook.  Pink shirt with collar up and a red Ralph Lauren Chaps sweater thrown over my shoulders, light-colored khakis and boat shoes with no socks, with 40-dirham "Ray-Bans" to complete the ensemble.  Completely authentic!  Not certain if it's a good thing or a bad one that, unlike all of my colleagues who went to the souk at Hay Hassani to find clothing, all I had to do was go into my closet to show exactly how I dressed 25 years ago...I don't have a lot of photos at hand, but believe me it was totally radical!

One week, then off to Istanbul, Athens and Budapest!  See y'all in a couple...

Tear down some two-lane country, who knows
Get lost and get right with my soul
Makes wanna take, makes me wanna
Take a back road
 
Some old back road, get right with my soul
Now all I gotta do is take some old back road
To the shady spot where things get hot...
Way down, way down, way down some old back road

"London Calling"

London calling, yes, I was there, too
An' you know what they said? Well, some of it was true!
London calling at the top of the dial
After all this, won't you give me a smile?
London calling...

A couple of weeks ago, it was declared that the most important Islamic holiday of the year was going to be observed with days off on Wed 16 - Thurs 17 Oct.  Later, the Minister of Education mandated that all Moroccan schools were to be closed Tues - Fri; my school then added Mon 14 and the mad rush was on to schedule travel for the 9 days total vacation.  The night before the last work day I furiously tried to make plans to go to London and somewhere else, which became Dublin.  Of course, my computer went on the fritz and I finished buying airline tix and reserving hostel rooms and printing boarding passes at a tiny cyber joint I managed to find in the neighborhood.  This was going to be an adventure...

Air Arabia did a good job getting me from Casa to London Gatwick.  It was nice being able to "speak the language" so I had no trouble getting directions to the place where I was staying.  The London Underground a/k/a The Tube is the world's oldest subway system, but was not too difficult to navigate.  My hostel was in a perfectly nice area in Central London just around the corner from a big station.  So far, so good...

Because of problems with my cell phone, I was going to actually have to use that dinosaur known as a payphone to call the tour company.  Here is an exterior photo:

I can't show you an interior photo, because this is a family-friendly forum.  I was a bit surprised when I entered the booth; I had forgotten that inside these booths one may find advertisements from ladies offering to spend time with you, for a fee.  I declined.  Little did I know that later that evening at about 2:30 a.m. I got something of a show anyway.  I was sleeping in a top bunk and the young couple in the bunk beneath me got a little frisky...May I also say I LOVE English accents on women!

Next day began with a trip to Stonehenge.  As soon as I took my seat in the very front of the bus I fell asleep.  When I woke up about an hour later I nearly had a heart attack!  He was driving on the wrong side of the highway!!  Oh, yeah...

Stonehenge was a bit of a disappointment; it was just a pile of rocks.  I'm sure everyone knows the theories, etc.  Let's just move on to some pics:

After I returned to London I walked about the city some and went to the British Museum, considered one of the world's greatest museums.  Maybe the most famous artifact among the 13 million items it holds is the Rosetta Stone.  It was a real "rock" star; it was tough to snap a pic...

 

That night I went to a casino that had a bar showing all the NFL games live each on their own big-screen TV.  Hot waitresses barely wearing jerseys, cigars - I don't believe in heaven, and if there actually is one, I know I surely ain't going, but if there is one, I imagine the scene around me is what it would resemble...

Oh yeah, here is a photo from the casino bathroom.  Yes, it is a 2-way window...

 

The next day I took one of those "Hop On, Hop Off" tours.  I got there bright and early and snagged a front row seat in the upper deck.  I wound up spending hours driving all around the city listening to the audio tour.  The history was amazing!

Look, kids - Big Ben!  Parliament!  (Name that movie reference)

Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, St. Paul's Cathedral - the list goes on and on and on as I sat on that bus all day long :)  One place I thought was particularly is one you may not be aware of, and that is Speaker's Corner (the original and most famous, at the NE corner of Hyde Park).  Ever wonder where originated the phrase "on a soapbox" came from?  I know now, and as an American, I'm not very impressed with English so-called freedom of speech.

The Tower Bridge:

I took a tour just of the Tower of London.  Amazing place.  My hairs stand on end and my goosepimples get goosepimples when I stand on the grounds of places like this:

Some more photos, including one of me with the Yeoman Warder who gave our tour (I told him I forgave him for his taking a shot during the tour at people from my native area who murder the English language):

I can't even begin to list all the places I visited in my brief time.  I did take a pair of photos that have some kitschy value to them.  The first is of 221B Baker Street; you should be able to figure out the famous "resident" of that site:

This one will be much harder...

Try imagining it taken from in/the other side of the street...

 

Yes, I was in the crosswalk at the Abbey Road studio made famous by the iconic album cover.  I couldn't get anyone to stand in traffic to get a better re-creation :(  Still, my favorite photo of the whole vacation.

One last one before my flight to the Emerald Isle - where it all began...

Off to Dublin!

Thanks to Ryanair for a brief and uneventful journey.  I took a bus to the City Centre (where the 398-foot Spire monument is) to catch a tram to my hostel.  I checked in around 3:30; the guy at the desk said: "Here is your keycard, there is the elevator, and the bar is open".  It was already doing good business.  I was gonna like this place.  Better yet, it was literally next door to the old Jameson distillery.  I added that to my itinerary before the Guinness storehouse the next day.

FIRE ALARM!

But thanks to the buxom young blonde in the bunk next to me.  (Unfortunately that means the adjacent bunk, not her physically next to me :(  I should also add (or not) that I loved the plethora of "gingers" running around.  These (1/4) Irish eyes were a-smilin'...

The distillery opened at 9, the tour began at 10.  I was chosen as one of the volunteer tasters.  This is at about 10:30 a.m. when I'm taking shots of Jack Daniel's, scotch and Jameson's, plus a big glass of Jameson's with ginger ale and lime.  I had a scone for breakfast and rarely drink - how could this possibly go wrong?

I made my way next to the Guinness tour.  We learned how to drink our Guinness, then I was again chosen as a volunteer to learn how to pour the proper pint.  The whisky is starting to kick in by this time, and it took me twice to put the glass under the correct tap, and three times to pull the tap, not push it.  I finished that pint with my Guinness & beef stew; the other photo is a view from the Gravity bar at the storehouse...

It's now 1p.m. and. I. am. bombed.  annihilated.  obliterated.  I am usually good for one impromptu drunken night per year; this one took place during the daytime, as I stumbled the streets of Dublin.  This often came in handy:

The National Leprechaun Museum - yes, such a place exists...

Did a little walking tour before I made my way back to England to end up at home in Casa.  Saw (respectively) Saint Patrick's Cathedral (founded 1191. largest church in Ireland), Christ Church Cathedral (founded c. 1028, the oldest church in Ireland), Trinity College (dates to 1592, holds the famed Book of Kells) and Dublin Castle...

Alas, and alack, all good things must come to and end.  I cannot wait to go back...

The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Engines stop running, the wheat is growing thin
A nuclear error, but I have no fear
'Cause London is drowning, and I live by the river...

"Heart Like Mine"

Cause I heard Jesus He drank wine
And I bet we'd get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet He'd understand a heart like mine...

Give a hand to Miranda Lambert a/k/a Mrs. Blake Shelton, folks!  I find a never-ending source of amusement in how certain things work here.  Last weekend was supposed to be Daylight Savings Time.  It was to take place in the wee hours of Saturday night, like back home.  However, early Saturday evening the word went out that the groundhog didn't see his shadow or whatever some poobah decided was the reason to postpone it for a month.  Apparently, it was determined by something to do with the lunar calendar.  Well, that makes sense - it's not like they don't know in advance exactly what is going to happen ahead of time...oh, yeah, they do.  Some people weren't entirely thrilled with the last-second change of plans.  That however, pales in comparison to the most important Muslim holiday, Aid El Kabir.  I can't tell you exactly when it will be next week because that too will be determined the night before, which really screws with travel plans.

Let's flip the script a little bit.  How would you like to be a good Muslim lad, a very fine, upstanding pupil, about to take a trip to the United States, the one he knows all about via popular culture.  As I type this, a small group of GWA student leaders is in the D.C. area.  I was chatting last week with one of them, a great young man, if not the most worldly one.  I had way too much fun ribbing him about what was in store for him with those wild American girls who do nothing but party all the time, just like he sees in the media.  Later, he did mention he was nervous about meeting his host family.  Would they have a problem with being a Muslim, as might concern his not eating pork or drinking alcohol, for example?  We actually did have some interesting talks about his being a stranger in a strange land, something I've learned a bit about over the past year.

Finally, why in the world did I purchase a white lab coat a couple of weeks ago?  Well, I finally got to put it to use for the first time on Tuesday.  I got some chuckles yanking my Mom's chain in not telling her what the coat was for.  I explained that where I was going I had to be approved by the woman in charge, and that my being a man was most unusual, unheard of at this place (which was true).  Tuesday night, I told her that there was a tremendous amount of screaming and yelling, but that I should be ok (which was also true). 
What's up is that I volunteered my first time at an orphanage in the city not far from where I live.  The youngest children are there; they go to other places when they get of around school age.  The white jacket is what employees wear as a uniform.  A very large majority of the newborns and toddlers there were male.  Boys will take your inheritance; girls won't, plus the girls can always work as cleaners or the like.  That's how it is.  I had a ball, though there was one laughable incident.  Given my previous work experience, I've fed countless people of all ages with all kinds of challenges.  But I've never fed a bottle to an infant.  I was holding a newborn when a staff handed me a bottle.  Two of my colleagues saw the panic in my eyes, and before I could think of what to say in French, they told the staff, basically, I didn't know what to do.  A third colleague, a mom, gave me the short course as to what/not do.  I'm looking very much forward to going back soon.

 I'll fly away from it all one day
And I'll fly away
These are the days that I will remember...