"Back (From) The U.S.S.R"

Flew in from Miami Beach, BOAC
Didn't get to bed last night
On the way the paper bag was on my knee
Man, I had a dreadful flight

Even after pulling off the miracle that was obtaining a Russian visa on a day's notice I still wasn't confident that I'd actually get into the country.  It was with trepidation that I caught the 3:05 a.m. flight on Alitalia from Casa to Roma en route to Moscow.  Unlike the lads from Liverpool, my flight to the heart of the former Soviet Union was excellent.  I've flown Alitalia a few times now and I'm a huge fan.  Every part of the experience every time has been wonderful.  Commercial over.  I approached Customs at Moscow - Sheremetyevo International Airport...and glided right through!

I'm back in the USSR
You don't know how lucky you are, boy
Back in the USSR

For my next trick, I had to make my way to the Mercure Hotel - Moscow.  They were supposed to have a shuttle waiting for me, but, nyet.  A young guy at the airport info desk guided me to a bus and explained how I was to get to the Metro from there to the stop nearest my hotel.  The lack of English-language signage was tough, but deciphering Cyrillic wasn't as daunting as I expected.  Cost less than $2 to get from the airport to the hotel - must be a record!

Speaking of the Moscow Metro, I knew it was famed for its artwork, but I could not have possibly been prepared for what I saw!  Here is a random photo - every station is different, but all were as remarkable...



I swear this is representative of the entire system! If you're from the Philly area like I am, think of SEPTA, but the exact opposite...

Been away so long I hardly knew the place
Gee, it's good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Honey, disconnect the phone

As a kid who grew up in the 80s, the term "Evil Empire" is not a punchline; Americans lived with the very real concern that the Soviet behemoth which wanted to enslave the world under Communism might just nuke the world into oblivion on a moment's notice.  Never in my wildest imagination did I ever believe that I would literally ever set foot anywhere even near Russia.  This made standing at Red Square one of the most surreal experiences of my life.

 St. Basil's Cathedral

 Lenin's Mausoleum - closed for renovation :(

 The Kremlin Wall

Then, it was time to go inside!

 Entering the Kremlin

 Inside the Kremlin!

 A photo taken of Moscow from within the Kremlin walls

Back outside...

 The Communist Party protests on Defender of the Fatherland Day

The former KGB headquarters at the end of the street

Moscow dates to to the 1st millennium, and has a lot more history going on than just from the days of the U.S.S.R., but if you want to have your socks knocked off, you must go to Saint Petersburg...

The "Venice of the North", Saint Petersburg was founded by Peter the Great in 1703.  Called Petrograd during WWI, then Leningrad as it played little brother to Moscow during the Soviet era.
It. Is. Gorgeous.  Let's play a game - it's called "Which photo is of the entrance to the world top-5 Hermitage Museum and which is of the 5-star Taleon Imperial Hotel just around the corner where I stayed for less than $100 per night?"  (Thank you, U.S. dollar and Russian ruble :)



     

You probably guessed they are, respectively, the Taleon and the Hermitage, but still...
Every time I walked through the lobby I did so in the hope that nobody would notice me..because I did not belong there!  It was amazing.  Just go to their website.

Anyway, the Hermitage Museum / Winter Palace at Palace Square and Peter & Paul Fortress were tops on my list of places to go.  I'm going to borrow some aerial photos:

The Hermitage is hard by the Neva River, the Alexander Column is in the center of Palace Square

The arch opposite leads through to Nevsky Prospect, the main road in St. Pete.

Peter & Paul Fortress

There are 3 churches that are highlights of a Saint Petersburg tour:

 Saint Isaac's Cathedral,

the third highest cupola cathedral in the world

The Cathedral of Our Lady of Kazan 

Church of the Saviour on Spilled Blood,

where Tsar Alexander II was assassinated in 1881

Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out
They leave the West behind
And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia's always on m-m-my mind

I could go on and on about the sights of Saint Pete.  Visiting Russia was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.  I can't wait until what is on tap for spring break ;)

Oh, show me round the snow-peaked mountains way down south
Take me to you daddy's farm
Let me hear you balalaikas ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm

To Russia With Love, Or Somehow?

We finally make the meet at a downtown cafe in the evening shadow of the ancient medina.  "Tarid" (okay, that is his actual name) is, to put it charitably, a very shiny-suited, shifty-looking sort.  This is the guy who is going to pave my path to Russia?  What a mess...

Since I hold a U.S. passport, if I want to travel to certain countries, I need to obtain a visa.  The procedures differ from country to country.  Russia ain't easy, especially if you applying from a foreign country.  Like Morocco.  Like me.

The first thing on the list of hoops to jump is to get in contact with an approved travel agency in-country to get a travel voucher.  Why?  No good reason, other than to extract money from a guy who just had to visit the heart of the former Soviet Union.  Not speaking French fluently really makes life difficult sometimes, like when I have to call a local business on the phone.  Making gestures doesn't help much in these situations.  A trusted, intelligent multilingual student does. Arrangements are made...

Back to the cafe - Tarid sits down, flashes his nicotine-stained (shark) teeth and I know this is going to cost me, but good.  If you have any good sense, you make sure you start the process of getting a visa months in advance of when you plan to go, not a couple of weeks prior, and most certainly before you do anything stupid like booking non-refundable flights and hotel rooms.  Um, not that I would ever do that.  (Actually, I did, which is a whole other story).

I give this perfect stranger a copy of my passport, and 200 bucks ($160 for the visa, plus the agency gets its cut), and pray that I will see this joker (who tries to put the squeeze on me for more!) next week with the the voucher.  I am under serious time constraints, but this guy, a perfect stranger, says he can get the job done.  I've already laid out a lot of dough, so I figure I'm in for a dime, in for a dollar, right?  The cherry on the sundae - he walks away leaving behind the bill for his coffee.

Fast forward, I actually get the voucher (and revenge for last week's bill), but next I have to take the paperwork to the Russian consulate in Casa, which I do on a Thursday.  My flight is Saturday.  Let's just say that the turnaround time, (assuming you get approved) is usually m-u-c-h longer.  I look at the guy behind the glass, make my plea (perhaps tell a fib or three).  I need this next day.  The young man is incredulous, but polite, and says he has to take it to the Consul General.  He is gone for quite a while, which I figure is in my favor.  He returns...and says he can do it, for a price.  I prefer to not type the number, it hurts too much.  But I pick it up the next day.  Russia is going to happen!

Down Under Diary - Pt 5

When you think of sports in Australia, what do you think of, if anything?  (Yes, snarky Jack is in the house!)  Now, I conferred with my authoritative (?) source "Bitter" Shawn for background information.  According to him, the NRL (like the rugby version of NFL) is the most popular sport in the country.  There is also Australian Rules Football, popular mainly in the Victoria region of the country.  Then, there is rugby union, often referred to as "ping pong".  Whatever.

Cricket.  The country is crazy for it.  Use the word "crazy" in whatever context you wish.  There are 3 versions of the game.  There is the traditional 5-day "Test" version, a much more popular 1-day version, and now, 20/20!!  20/20 is a made-for-the-MTV-generation.  In short, in baseball terms, each team gets 120 pitches to score as many runs as possible.  Shawn and I went the historic Sydney Cricket Grounds.  Cricket has been played at the site since 1848.  The oldest still-standing structure dates to 1886 (at first the members' pavilion, now for the ladies).  The current members' pavilion dates to 1883.  The two stands combined might hold a couple thousand people, at the very most.  The modified stadium holds about 44,000.  It is really cool (if you're a sports/history geek like me) to see the old kept within the new.

I bought a general admission ticket to see the undefeated Sydney Sixers host the defending champion Perth Scorchers.  Given my fashion sense, it is a bit surprising to some that I did not buy Sixers gear, predominantly fluorescent pink (they say magenta - I disagree).  I did, though, place a legal sports bet on-site.  YES!  5 Australian dollars straight up on the home team!  After the opposition did their thing and put up a very unimpressive score, Shawn informed me that my bet was a cinch.  The Sixers did their very best to imitate their Philadelphia NBA brethren.  Seriously.  They put up a score that had Shawn earnestly looking up historic low totals for 20/20 matches.  If you know anything about this version, Sydney was bowled out in 17 overs, scoring 99 runs.  Really?!

I had the opportunity to teach some American football to my Aussie "nephew" Kaylan and his younger cousin Layla.  This was a much more satisfying sports experience.  We also enjoyed some quality time outdoors, including to the Royal Botanic Gardens down by the harbour (there's that pesky "u" again!)

My trek home begins later this afternoon.  An all-photos, all-the-time diary entry will be coming in the near future.  Hoops snakes, drop-bears and kangawallafoxes, oh my!  G'day!!!

Down Under Diary - Pt 4

At long last, it was time to go into the city for the day - Shawn and Jack took the train into the Sydney Harbour area (note the pretentious use of the "u" in harbor!  I thought it fit the occasion, being in Australia and all that!)  The harbor (forget the "u"!) is an active, important part of life in Sydney.  The historic area surrounding it is very well-preserved, and the bars and restaurants are awfully cool.  It is very touristy, but not cheesy, and not as expensive as would be expected for such an otherwise very expensive city.  Lots of fun to wander around.
I did not pay to have my photo taken of an Aboriginal fellow playing and dancing to a didgeridoo.  I did pay to climb a pylon at the famed Harbour Bridge.  It of course was across from the iconic Opera House.  If you're an Aussie, wait till I complete this thought!  I was pretty thoroughly unimpressed with the two sites during the day.  At night, when I cruised the harbor (a must-do) they looked amazing.
If you like Baltimore's Inner Harbor (wish Philly would take notes!), you'll love Sydney Harbor...

Down Under Diary - Pt 3

2014 is the third year in a row that I spent Christmas outside of the U.S. (in different countries, even: Italy, Austria/Czech Republic, Australia).  I met up with some colleagues on Christmas night in Rome 2 years ago, but this year was very special as I was in Oz with close friends.  Mom surprised me with a gift sent to (Bitter) Shawn's home, where I enjoyed the company of his (better) half, Arwen, and their their 2 lovely children.  The Alabama swag from Stateside was delivered with absolutely no time to spare.  We all spent the day at Arwen's sister's nearby home with a bunch of her relatives in town for the occasion.  We played French cricket (think "pepper" in baseball) and I (barely) defeated a (very cool) 89 year-old in ping-pong.  Adult beverages may have been consumed.

Now, when you think of Australia, what do you think of, in terms of climate and geography?  Sun - that would be my first thought, whether it be tempered by cool breezes at the ocean, or blazing in the Outback.  What would not have crossed my mind was rainforest.  The land of Oz actually has a good bit of it.  Shawn and I drove (on what I would call the wrong side of the road) to the Illawarra escarpment subtropical rainforest, where we bought tix to the Illawarra Fly Tree Top Walk.  It was as cool as it sounds.  At one point as I walked across the sky, I was 710 meters above sea level, looking at cliffs that eventually rolled down to the ocean in the distance.

The day after Christmas is called Boxing Day.  So, of course, we went to a baseball game!  What else do you do in December?  The Sydney Blue Sox play in the fledgling Australian Baseball League, and on Boxing Day they hosted the Brisbane Bandits at what was the baseball venue for the 2000 Olympic games.  We root, root, rooted for the home team, but they didn't win, and it was a shame.  I got to take some swings in the batting cage (I fared better than in cricket).  Syd, the mascot, may have regretted being friendly to me...

Down Under Diary - Pt 2

For better or worse, I'll try almost anything.  I needed absolutely no encouragement whatsoever to drive go-carts!  Someone who shall remain nameless (ok, me) easily won all 3 heats against someone who shall also remain nameless (one Shawn Edward O'Keefe, who had zero chance at remaining anonymous in this space).  I only wrecked once (the left side of my rib cage thanks me).  Ton of fun.

The second activity on the day before Christmas was cricket.  Yes, cricket.  I thought I escaped sports, in foreign countries, that I have no knowledge of (soccer, in Morocco).  Alas, I traveled halfway around the globe to put on cricket gear, pick up a bat, and face my (now, former) friend.  I fared about as well as expected (poorly) before he gained a (small) measure of revenge and bowled me out.  I somehow (when I wasn't inexplicably throwing the ball over the cage) managed to do the same to Shawn's game nephew.  Due to technical difficulties (or human stupidity) pictures will not be posted now, but (unfortunately) photos will eventually be uploaded for the entertainment of all.

Down Under Diary - Pt 1

After a 24 hour period that included about 22 hours of flight, I finally made it from London through Beijing to Sydney about 6:30 a.m. local time Tuesday.  Almost 16 hours later I am remarkably still awake, and it was quite a day!  The highlight was a trip to the Symbio Zoo.  I saw up close and personal uniquely Aussie animals such as koalas, wombats, echidnas, Tasmanian devils (real ones, not the cartoon variety) and kangaroos.  I fed the latter and stood among them in a field while they bounded about - a magical time - then I ate one for dinner.  Yup, kangaroo burgers - and they were delicious!


That's all folks!